The Rio Times
There have been reports from a local shantytown in Rio de Janeiro that the acting CEO of the Coca-Cola corporation, Ahmet Muhtar Kent, has sent their residents an excess of Coke products earlier this morning.
For citizens of the small, very poor favela of Chatuba, the sight of tens of Coca-Cola trucks bounding up the dirt roads of their town came as quite a shock, with the shock ever-growing as they were greeted by crates of junk thrown into their front doors.
Residents do not know what to do with their new goods, some have reportedly begun selling the sponsored products on websites, hoping that this oddly placed handout will bring some sort of wealth to their close-knit shantytown.
“I do not understand what they were trying to get out of this act,” said Rosa Livella, who has spent her entire life in Chatuba.
It is unclear why Coca-Cola, a multi-billion dollar corporation, thought this “gift” would be well placed. Perhaps they were trying to gain the support of the local people of Chatuba, and maybe even Brazil as a whole.
These reports are further complicated by the recent report that the Coca-Cola corporation has petitioned to place a mystery Coke machine under one of the arms of Rio’s Christ the Redeemer statue, but was unequivocally denied on the grounds that such a corporate ploy would be in violation of a religious monument.
Kent has made multiple strange moves in relation to their position as worldwide partner of the Olympic Games.
At press time, reports were being received by the Times that workers had begun to fill a large pool outside of the Maracana stadium with Coca Cola.
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