Sunday, May 15, 2016

Press Release - Order for Progress

While taking a break in the countryside, Pele came to me in a vision. "Aecio," he said, hovering in the air and juggling a soccer ball, "I have chosen you to be my voice to this people."

I solemnly declare that there is no god but Pele, and I have been chosen as his messenger to the Brazilians. I therefore resign as leader of the Ordem do Progresso in favor of the wise magnate Paca, who will, upon winning the presidential election, serve this country's secular needs well, and who promises to create a Church of Pele to guarantee unity and happiness, with me as its High Priest.

- Aecio Neves da Cunha

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